Cast: Clint Cooper, Evan Taylor, Jay Ross, Logan Krewe, Michael Brandon, Ryan Chandler, Troy Banner
Director: Chi Chi LaRue
Length: 1 hr 12 min
Studio : Men of Odyssey
There’s a reason why giant rock stars like Eric Clapton enjoy MTV’s minimalist “Unplugged,” or why classical music virtuosi like Yo-Yo Ma will follow a bunch of concerto performance with some intimate chamber music. After having to deal with the stress and hassles of massive productions, artists relish the opportunity just to focus on their art.
So it must have been for Chi Chi LaRue, when he accepted this gig from Odyssey Men. After all his recent projects involving dozens of men, exotic locales and elaborate story lines, Uniform must have been a dream job - one basic theme, one headlining star, six hot partners, minimal sets and maximum sex.
Unfortunately it didn’t quite work out that way. First, the good news: generally, the sex is great! If you’re just looking for a film to get you off, this will do it for you. Clint Cooper is a magnificent specimen of a man and the six other cast members, most of whom are newcomers, are enthusiastic and eager to please. The sex itself is intense; videographer Hue Wilde does a fantastic job filming these men in the throes of lust, especially his fucking shots from below, and the lighting captures the burnished glow of the men’s skin tones.
But - there are a problems. First and foremost is the video’s strange failure to live up to its theme. The set-up promises much. Before each segment, there is a montage of Cooper in various outfits (including a baker, of all things!), and the four scenes have the actors dressed for the part - football player and coach, soldiers in a barracks, a cop and a punk, and three cowboys. These are all rich with erotic possibilities, and one is eager to see how Chi Chi and Cooper will mine them. Yet inexplicably nothing ever really comes of the situations. There are only periodic glimpses of genuine role-playing, the dialogue - when it does happen - is standard porn-speak that has little to do with the situation, and the clothes are rarely employed except to be taken off. The sex is great but generic. Given what we’re led to expect, it’s very frustrating.
The director sometimes makes odd choices. There is an overabundance of foreplay, which makes the actual sex seem rushed (at only 72 minutes, every second counts). We seem to see cocks rub against asses more than actually go in. In the barracks three-way with Cooper, Michael Brandon and Troy Banner, Clint keeps at such a distance that one might think the other two guys - who really, really get into each other - might only be imagining him. And if you want copious cum, forget it. Often Cooper does a “Meg Ryan” - acting an orgasm more than producing the cream.
Still, again, the sex itself - when it does happen - is great. Jay Ross is pitch-perfect as the young football player who lusts after his coach; his energy rubs off on Cooper who is at his most animated here. The moment when Cooper shoves his hard-on through the facemask of Ross’s helmet is searingly erotic. In the barracks, Brandon has a cock reminiscent of the mighty Rick Donovan and the fuck he throws Troy Banner would be palpably painful - if Banner weren’t enjoying it so much. When Cooper uses his hyper-butch cop boots on the slim punk Ryan Chandler, we finally get a hint of how this video could have used uniforms. The film ends with a too-rarely-seen daisy-chain fuck featuring Cooper doing Logan Krewe doing Evan Taylor that is as hot as it is too short!
Really, the best moments in Uniform come from the supporting cast. Except for the very underrated Brandon, all the cast are newcomers, with no one having more than four other films to their credit. Krewe, Ross and Taylor have only worked with Chi Chi before, which proves that he still has an expert eye for manflesh. In fact, he includes Ross, Krewe, Banner, and Taylor in the upcoming Missing Link, which gives you four more reasons to save your money for this eagerly anticipated magnum opus.
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