|Description||Straight Bodybuilders Do
Cast: Rico Dulce, Brad Rock, Rhett O'Hara, Sergei Moscow, Jason Hawke, Jeremy Jordan, Duke Miller
Director: Blue Blake
Length: 1 hr 40 min
Studio : Big Blue Productions
And naughty gurls need love too!
Blue Blake, a fellow countryman of mine, is well aware of the bar room joke that I’ll Americanize here: What’s the difference between a straight man and a bisexual? About ten beers. Blake loves the conversion fantasy that straights can be turned. They can’t. Straight men are straight men. If you even fantasize about another man the Kinsey report's got your number. Herewith, Straight Bodybuilders Do.
So, let’s humor Blake and enjoy his fifth directorial offering. Seven huge muscleguys (some familiar faces on ever expanding bodies) get buck-nekkid for your pleasure. OK, I’m gonna stop right there. I personally don’t date body builders because I’m a “feather the nest” type of guy, and whilst they look hot in the here-and-now-and-altogether, God in his infinite wisdom and twisted sense of humor created this fabulous thing called middle-aged-spread. We’re all gonna get fat, but these guys already got two-hundred lbs. on me.
Blonde twink Jordan teases Dulce with his boyish ass. Not sure what exactly constitutes these guys being straight - maybe the bad hairdos? Dulce grapples with his conscience (and underpants) before he throws caution to the wind, ordering Jordan to work more and more fingers up his boytwat before Jordan finds a conveniently large dildo to shove up there instead. (He finds this on the floor of a straight man’s house?) Dulce helps send the last remaining inches to the new alimentary home sending Jordan into overdrive and spattering precum everywhere. Second course arrives in the shape of Dulce’s fat brown veiny sausage, which Jordan worships, before making his eyes water with a very expert rimjob. Jordan bottoms expertly making his hunk buddy spurt all over.
Now, where are the straight bodybuilders who do? Aha, here’s one in the shape of award winning (doesn’t say what award - maybe he got third prize in a spelling bee) Russian Sergei, who’s been bodybuilding for ten years. Guess he had to do something once the tractor factory closed. He tells us all about how he loves "petite lay-deez." Oh dear. Well, he flexes and poses before whipping out his nice Moscow Mule.
At this point I’m guessing straight bodybuilders don’t. It’s the gay ones who do, as muscular punky dude O’Hara (debuting here but since making a name for himself) and Hawke get straight down to all sorts of gayness frowned upon by many of today’s religious leaders. These two take time giving each other great blowjobs and ass-licks (which makes a change from the first scene where Jordan was doing all the work) before Hawke decides to bottom, forcing O’Hara to shoot his sexy nuts all over his tattooed chest.
Another solo, this time from boxer Rock, whom, whilst pale and dull in this movie is much better in Blake’s Hard as Rock. Still, that manpork looks damned tasty.
Again we dive into another duo (with no set-ups how can we indulge in our hetero-conversion fantasies?) again featuring the wonderful O’Hara, this time with fellow dirty blonde Miller, struggling to swallow his mate’s huge dick (the secret is breath control and relaxation). Luckily O’Hara is much better, producing heavy breathing and dirty talk from his partner! Miller enjoys his rimjob and carries on with the bottoming duties as O’Hara does another of his now famous frenetic fuckjobs. I secretly hoped that O’Hara would be bottoming, but hey, maybe next Christmas.
We are reintroduced to Dulce in the final scene, who informs us he is 100% straight, but once in a while he likes to fuck guys (and it took Jordan, what, all of five seconds to seduce this guy?) so I’m guessing he’s actually about 98% straight. He admits he likes "beeg teetties" – hey, I’m 100% Martha and I like them too. I just prefer them on a Benny Hill level. But I digress; the final scene sees Dulce putting Hawke through a workout. Hawke admits he likes getting fucked by straight guys so guess your dreams are gonna come true. Hawke seduces him in about two seconds flat and is rewarded with Dulce’s tongue down his throat. Guess Dulce liked Hawke’s beeg teetties but once again it’s left for the gay man to do all the blowing, rimming, and bottoming.
Straight Bodybuilders Do is not Blake’s best. Dulce and Moscow are both comic book huge and look like they are well on their way to their first heart attack. And this is the twenty-first century: I thought we all stopped lusting after straight guys in the eighties.
|Size||2.11 GB (2,263,760,416 bytes)|
|Num files||1 files|