Battlespace 39 - Mario vs PeeWee

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DescriptionThickly muscular, PeeWee looks like everything a Thunder’s Arena star is supposed to be. On the mat, though, he has proved his incompetence over and over. His win-loss record this past year has been abysmal, and most of the other wrestlers at the Arena see him as some sort of comic buffoon. “I’m a joke?” he asks, in all innocence, as Mario can’t stop himself from chuckling, just remembering the way PeeWee had “wrestled” the day before. Mario stands by, trying not to crack up as PeeWee performs a few “stretches” pre-match, “being one with the mat,” as PeeWee calls it (perhaps not the best objective for a wrestler). PeeWee’s stretch routine is one part dying swan and two parts beached whale. Mario shakes his head and asks, “Do you have any idea what you’re doing right now?” “Not really,” PeeWee admits, “but I feel great.”

A lot of PeeWee’s shtick is simply a broad caricature of the fans’ adoration of the company’s wrestlers in the comments section, their fawning muscle worship and desire to experience what it might be like to be bested by one of these big men. As Mario easily takes him down, PeeWee exudes, “You’re so dominant and so strong. I’ve never felt the wrath of a man of 240 pounds.” Later, after both men shed their near-identical singlets to reveal the tight, skimpy briefs underneath, he’s awestruck by Mario’s hard slabs of muscle, gushing, “You’re like a Greek god … God, you’re amazing!” PeeWee alternates between good-natured self-abasement, admitting his deficiencies as a grappler, and dogged insistence that he actually does have some ace wrestling moves … somewhere. His slow, deliberate line delivery is usually likable and funny, too, a bit like Kevin Malone’s on The Office.

But Mario just wants PeeWee to shut up and wrestle. He’s also worried that PeeWee’s incompetence risks injuries to both wrestlers, and at one point he storms out of the mat room. He returns later to find that PeeWee hasn’t budged from the spot where he left him, so he offers to “teach” the man a thing or two about the art and science of wrestling. Thanks to Mario, then, we get to see an array of the fine wrestling maneuvers that we expect of a match featuring two brawny guys: nelsons, fireman’s carry, Boston crabs, chokes, bearhugs, scissors, clutches, and choking (with one of the discarded singlets). Occasionally, PeeWee rouses and even asserts control, but only temporarily, because, as Mario observes, “All you do is talk and flex.” In the end, though, whatever you may think of the way PeeWee runs his mouth, Mario finds a very effective and practical way of shutting it up.

Enjoy! SeedBonus much appreciated!

Added2015-06-11 08:26:06
Size483.57 MB (507,063,234 bytes)
Num files1 files