Don't hate Rio Garza just because he's beautiful. He can't be blamed because of his near perfection, though he might have worked on those pecs a little less rigorously and left a hint of flab on those massive thighs, just to make the rest of us feel a little bit better about ourselves. The fans who love him most are also the ones who most like to see his body beautiful manhandled and mauled. Some fans! Those who hate him - and, unfairly, many do - resent his classic elegance and impugn his skills as a ring wrestler. Garza is in the sad but enviable position of being so beautiful that he's constantly being challenged to prove himself as something more than a great beauty, as if great beauty were not enough. And now The Boss throws him in the ring with a sadistic brawler like Jonny Firestorm, which is like throwing a prize Borzoi into a cage with an incensed Pit Bull!
Jonny doesn't have to hate you to beat the shit out of you. It's his nature. He's a destroyer. He wasn't always a destroyer, but The Boss turned him into one. Now, whether he hates your guts or kind of likes you, he sees you across the ring he has to not just knock you down but punch and squeeze you till all that's left of you is the little yip that escapes your mouth just before you're out like a light. Over the past few years, under the watchful eyes of all of us, Jonny has risen from inauspicious beginnings to become one of two or three of the most tenacious and dangerous heels in BG East's history.
The Greek god Garza in a gold metallic bikini primps his smooth tan muscles at the mirror, while awaiting his challenger. Jonny struts in and compliments Garza's hard-to-miss good looks and asks if he knows how to wrestle, all the while his black intense eyes take in Rio's sculpted muscle like a cheetah inspecting a gazelle. Rio sides up to Jonny, highlighting his height advantage over the hairy buzzcut heel. He challenges Jonny to a test of strength. "Gonna beat you up," he barks as he muscles Jonny down to his knees.
Rio wants to show us all that his good looks are no reason to doubt he has a mean streak - and the fanboy debates that have surrounded him for the past year, after he earned a highly prized BG East Wrestler Spotlight just months after his debut, have pushed him to the point that he's ready to unleash some pent-up aggro on somebody, especially somebody like Firestorm, with a reputation among fans for being a 'real' wrestler. But as convincingly as he sells his initial humiliation, and he sells it with near perfection, we expect Jonny to let loose his finely gauged fury at any second.Jonny is a journeyman wrestler, proud of his craft and, under the proud watchful eye of The Master, constantly refining his skills. If he has any resentment against the pretty boys he's sometimes called upon to take down a notch or two -alliterative lookers like Devil Devitt, Alexi Adamov, and Kid Karisma - that resentment, if any, doesn't show. Jonny doesn't have to hate you to kick your ass. He'll do it for the paycheck. He'll do it because he's told to. He'll do it on a dare. He'll do it, hell, just because he likes the exercise. Jonny finds fighting a guy on the mats or in the ring as mindlessly and unaffectedly compulsive as the rest of us find popping bubble wrap.
Matching Jonny and Rio up has to be a stroke of genius, if we do say so ourselves. Here's Rio, if not the most beautiful man on the planet, then certainly on the short list. Right now, he's at a point in his wrestling career where he's ready for an image change, tiring of his image as a cool and untouchable god and ready to prove he has fire in his belly, right behind that perfectly composed six-pack. Then there's Jonny, trained and groomed for success and pitted against some of the most formidable opponents in the biz, often outweighed but never, not even when he loses, outclassed. If Rio is a god, then Jonny is a machine, nothing ethereal about him, hard, stalwart, pugnacious, and ready to take a fight as low as the other guy cares to take it - a man of flexible principles, he's not married to the idea of fair play, so if you want down and dirty, he can bring it to you. The timing could not be better, then, for bringing these two forces, each in his own way at a career turning point, together in one ring for some high-contrast, high-resolution fireworks!
Once Rio beats Jonny down and once Jonny punches back, Rio's fate is sealed. Underestimating his opponent and quickly exhausting the collateral of his height, weight, peak condition, and youth, Rio is a deer in the headlights of Jonny's juggernaut intensity. Never satisfied with a simple three-count pin, never satisfied with anything less than a massacre, Jonny lights into Rio, boots and fists a blur as Rio's body convulses and groans. Watching Firestorm take the elegant and noble Garza down is like watching a determined lumberjack wildly and furiously axe a stately oak. He yanks the handsome stud up by his dark hair and wrings a series of submissions from him, alternating between wringing Rio's joints and pounding those immaculate abs.
Act three of this debacle completes Rio Garza's humiliation. Balls bashed, neck throttled, ribs kicked, spine bent back till it pops. Relentlessly Jonny pushes for the record for the most submissions in a single contest (Guinness has not yet returned our calls). The beauty of Rio's agony matches the beauty of his physique, and Jonny achieves his own sort of grandeur through his ruthless and infinite drive to dominate and punish the haughty. You don't see extraordinary ring action like this anywhere else but BG East.
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