"No one knows how to tap into the secret desires of the masculine guy next door like legendary director Joe Gage, who has taken blue collar lust to a new level in Joe Gage Sex Files 3: Frat Party Kegger."
We love everything from Joe Gage!
Fraternity row will never look the same again.
Ever have the hots for that handsome professor?
As you can imagine, we're a huge Joe Gage supporter. An inspiration to every pornomaker around (and those who say otherwise are just plain fucking liars) so we hollered when he announced he was getting back into the business. But personally I found the first Sex Files only Â“half-full;Â” it was missing something. Oh yeah, actual man-on-man contact. But hip-hip-hoopla the third time's a charm. When I told a co-worker what this film was about he went into PC-overdrive. Â“Professors seducing students?Â” he gasped in horror. Well, forget the dodgy ideology and abuse of power issues, sleeping with my teacher got me a 390 GPA, so there. WeÂ’ve come a long way from the ChildrenÂ’s Hour, baby.
I really wanted to do this review in-depth, comparing it to his previous works but IÂ’m guessing all you want to know is how big the cocks are and where they get stuck. ItÂ’s a good job you ignorant peasants pay my bills, it really is.
Welcome to Fraternity Row, Durham, NC. Where cigarette manufacturers learn their trade. Or maybe study law. Or how to boil peanuts. Who can say? In Alpha Delta Gamma (a frat house, not the Star Trek quadrants) we are introduced to Jeff (Danny, via handy on-screen titles) a horny frat kid (less jockey, more short) watching football with his buddy, Buddy (Hunter). ThereÂ’s some quick exposition of events but when Hunter opens his mouth that voice just plain scares me. ItÂ’s not an insult, Mr. Hunter (unlike that time you knocked me over and spilled my drink in a certain Manhattan club) IÂ’m just stating facts. But squirrels creep me out too, so fret not.
From out of nowhere Jeff asks if itÂ’s true Buddy is well-endowed. Not the sort of thing IÂ’d ask a frat-brother but I never did go to college. Â“Mitch told me it was big.Â” Â“Mitch has a big mouth.Â” (Well, thereÂ’s a marriage made in Heaven right there.) Whap - out comes HunterÂ’s hose and naturally, Jeff canÂ’t resist when he watches it grow. (Fun hint: use your fast forward and watch it sproing up like a balloon.)
But Gage is determined to hold the tension for a bit so IÂ’ll just make note of the soundtrack for this entire movie - itÂ’s almost all background TV football noise, Louisville fourteen, Cincinnati twenty-four, youÂ’ll be pleased to know. A similar technique was used during the great teacher-coach tryst in L.A. Tool & Die. LessonÂ’s over because JeffÂ’s just lunged for HunterÂ’s monster!
After jerking each other off for a bit Jeff drops both his trousers and his heterosexual-pretense silently swallowing Hunter, and doing a pretty good job considering the size of that freak-n-furter, which gets Jeff commenting, "I bet you could..." "I can," snaps Hunter in reply and proves that yes, he can indeed suck his own dong, Jeff lending a helping hand to drool over the balls.
When they cum and go (repeated in slow-mo) the main course is served, beginning with Shannon (Luke) who collapses into a deep sleep on the couch. In walks Professor Josman (Sarge), one of those well-kept fifty-somethings you see in soap operas. Spying the sleeping stud he throws his ethics (and job) to the wind and unleashes ShannonÂ’s fat, uncut cock. Smiling like a fox and hungry like the wolf this professor knows never to throw away a hot meal and tucks straight in. In walks twinkies Jeremy (Heights) and Ted (Young) but the professor just donÂ’t care. He proves to both just how good a cocksucker gets with age, slurping down the three big cocks loudly and juicily. Oink, you pig! I never knew a human could produce as much drool and still be sane.
Shannon suddenly grunts in his sleep and a champagne-pop of spooge shoots across his stomach (repeated twice in slow-motion, naturally) the Slutty Professor rubbing it into the fratboyÂ’s smooth skin so he glistens in the light, and that waking grin becomes very large indeed.
Oops - here comes Coach Lockwood (Kole) who doesnÂ’t know what to do when faced with such sexy shenanigans. So he does what every sports teach would do in this situation. He orders Jeremy to drop and give him twenty. But our twink is too tempting for Lockwood who whips out his massive erection. Jeremy takes great pride in getting this mature meat good and wet, and hesitantly at first, Coach returns the favor. Intergenerational has never been more sensational!
Into the room walk jocks Mitch (Damian, he of the big mouth fame) Jerry and Bryan who beat their mega-members at the sight of muscled-old-king-Kole slurping on one of his students. Luckily along comes Tag Adams, as the keg-delivery guy and pretty soon heÂ’s servicing all three of the uncut dudes, first with his mouth, then with his famous hole.
IÂ’m assuming the jocks think this all a Jackass-inspired hazing stunt but they fuck that ass good, causing Tag to just-about blow a gasket. Coach orders Mitch and Bryan to join a seriously-pissed looking Jeremy in a circle jerk, leaving Jerry (Berlin) to finish off AdamÂ’s butt. EveryoneÂ’s beating their meat, even Ted, who disappeared earlier; maybe he was on a smoke break. Cut and uncut cocks spew forth quarts of creamy, white tasty-looking jizz, all lovingly repeated in slow-mo. (Next time please make it 3-D!)
Everything about this movie is great, even the soundtrack made up of gasps, grunts and background noise (sorry, I canÂ’t remember what the final score was). ItÂ’s a return to the top of the ladder for Mr. Gage. Welcome back - weÂ’ve been expecting you.
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