|Description||Cast: Robbie Angel, Kyle Kennedy, Julian Pierce, Jason Hawke, Fitch Abel, Trent Austin, Danny Hunter, Jason Sizemore, Trey Alimore
Director: Chi Chi LaRue
Length: 1 hr 36 min
Studio : Rascal Video, Channel 1 Releasing
A terrifically sexy and randy cast (led by major cutie-pie twink du jour Robbie Angel and self-sucker extraordinaire Danny Hunter) under the ace guidance of our favorite diva of all things filthy and fun ensure a smutty good time.
-- Keeneye Reeves
WasnÂ’t it Chairman Mao who once said something like, "Give me the child for the first five years and IÂ’ll give you the man"? Or was it some old pederast from the Midwest? I neither know nor care. Chi Chi simply says, "I can make you a star, so unbuckle already!"
As you no doubt know, sheÂ’s my bitch of a sister and for years IÂ’ve had to sit through the same old shit: "Chi Chi is God"; "Cheech is the most talented pornomaker in the world"; and "Who are you and what are you doing rummaging through my trash-cans?" I know how poor Lorna Luft feels, growing up in the shadow of Liza. It sucks.
Chi ChiÂ’s prolific nature strikes again. Most people fart less times a year than she helms movies. This is her Rascal VideoÂ’s first for 2003, with so many twinkies on display it could pass as Dan WhiteÂ’s defense case. If you like Â‘em young, hung and full of cum this is gonna be right up your street.
The opening credits feature a sub-Pansy Division punky track and images of gobstoppers (or perhaps Chi ChiÂ’s painkillers). You may tire quickly of the candy motifs Â– and I hope thatÂ’s sugar on that spoon and not crystal meth. On a side note, I hear chickens these days read XY and listen to DestinyÂ’s Child. Not like in my day. I was sent down the coalmine at dawn and if I complained once I was bare-ass horsewhipped and sent straight to bed without any supper. Ahh... the halcyon days. You can never go back!
Starting Young has no real plot to speak of, just a bunch of young gayboys hanging around and talking about their sex lives. The first story tells of how Austin helped Alimore christen his dorm room. Â“Those walls were thin, everyone heard.Â” Well, thanks to the magic of television now everyone can see, as we start with bleach blonde beauty Alimore tenderly getting AustinÂ’s dick and balls as wet as possible, on a king-size bed no less. (Must be a dorm room in one of them Liberal colleges IÂ’ve read about. Those pinkos.)
This scene is not only startlingly arousing but also an honest account of young male love, which is odd when you think that the directorÂ’s idea of a romantic assignation is usually a blowjob at a truckstop. Both well hung guys take turns orally pleasing the other (but whatÂ’s with all this ball-tapping nonsense?) when Alimore suddenly launches a frenetic tongue assault on his partnerÂ’s virginal boypussy, and God, does Austin appreciate it. A few fingers help to loosen things up and soon Alimore has slid inside his partner, banging away. More More More! A megafuck later and itÂ’s AlimoreÂ’s turn to explore his future bottoming career as his ass is licked out to the soundtrack of a crazed Hammond Organ. Alimore straddles his partner (I hear itÂ’s the easiest way) and rides like crazy before youthful energy is spent and the two release their sprays of milk-money. I christen this room Â“The Chicken Shack.Â”
Next up the bitchy pals joke about the time muscular Hawke seduced Abel in his parentÂ’s pool. We start with a brilliantly shot underwater love scene that sadly ends when it is revealed that itÂ’s all a dream. Especially annoying because I was really looking forward to some I Know Who You Blew Last Summer-style underwater cum-shots.
It doesnÂ’t take long for fantasy to become reality however, as Hawke, seducer extraordinaire, convinces his friend to deepthroat him straight away. With those powers he should be a United Nations hostage negotiator. The sequence seems to fly by as the kissing couple get heavy. Hawke has his ass munched on by the eager Abel - Willing and Able, I guess. The two are about to learn Rule Number One of the American Gay Porn Industry: The guy with the biggest pecs is always the top. So, Abel climbs onboard his stallion and rides him home like a Kentucky Derby winner. Abel canÂ’t stop himself from cumming (neither would you if you had Hawke up you) and his seltzer-spray of sperm is enough to get Hawke to release his own. And they call it puppy love. Aww!
The third scene features cherubic twink coverboy Angel, who should take my advice: Keep a good head on your shoulders and not give in to Â“the hype.Â” For when the next chicken arrives to steal his crown Angel looks the type to turn Baby Jane nasty and go on a killing spree. The wascally wabbit cutie is face-to-face with older muscle stud Pierce, who strips topless, silently asking Angel to join him in a twinkie tango. WhatÂ’s an Angel to do but get his wings? Â“Innocence LostÂ” and Â“Paradise RegainedÂ” are the order of the day as Angel tongues the pec muscles, ab muscles and lovemuscle of Pierce who impatiently works his fingers up AngelÂ’s buttcrack. The sucking and rimming sends Pierce to new highs, as he selfishly lets the young buck do all the worshipping. I guess Chi Chi stopped the camera and threatened to bitchslap him into performing, as Pierce finally gets busy and does a great job getting AngelÂ’s Delight glistening with saliva. (ThatÂ’s a spit shine for you.)
Boyish Angel is about to learn Rule Number Two of the American Gay Porn Industry: If youÂ’re young and cute and doing a scene with an older guy, youÂ’d better have douched, because youÂ’re about to be fucked like crazy! Angel takes a while warming-up to his ass-pounding, but once comfortable melts into the arms of Pierce, who proves that sexual energy and stamina is not solely for the young. Yoga fans take note as Angel puts his legs behind his head midfuck. Their appetites finally satiated both jerk off to scorching culmination. As Elvis sang, "You look like an Angel... but youÂ’re the Devil in disguise!"
Last (but by no means least) is Kennedy, snoozing in a barn whilst Sizemore argues with hot friend Hunter. Their Â“Can do,Â” Â“Can not,Â” Â“Can doÂ” exchange is finally broken when Hunter shows us exactly what he Â“Can doÂ” Â– he unbuttons his trousers and releases what can only be described as his rama-lama-lama-ka-dinga-da-dinga-Dong, which he proceeds to rubberneck. SizemoreÂ’s understandably impressed by the amazing talent (and size) of this star-in-the-making, as Hunter sucks himself better than many performers can suck someone else! HunterÂ’s an oral pig and swallows SizemoreÂ’s just-as-impressive doodle before both suck HunterÂ’s meat at once in a sequence so original and fantastic, I fell to the floor and cried "Hallelujah!"
All the facefucking commotion has woken up Kennedy. If you ever find yourself in the enviable position that Kennedy faces - staring two dinosaur sized peckers right in the face - youÂ’ll discover nature and common sense take over. You drop to your knees in prayer and prepare to take your Holy Communion! Kennedy swallows each mutant prick - not an easy task - before stretching his mouth like the aliens in V and taking both at once. Bet he was secretly wishing for lockjaw at this point.
Hunter, who has already perfected his Stryker-esque Â“suck that fat dickÂ” voice, tongue fucks his small blonde buddy before rubbering up and barging his way inside, causing Kennedy to go instantly granite-hard and sprout a Cheshire Cat grin. Not one to be left out, the pale Sizemore, whoÂ’s been choking Kennedy with his meat whilst Hunter grinds his hips, gets a shot at KennedyÂ’s well-stretched hole. Blondie squat-thrusts on him, bouncing to an intense orgasm thatÂ’s topped only by SizemoreÂ’s own squirtathon. The guy produces so much jizz he could impregnate the entire female population of Manhattan if he tossed off anywhere near the water supply. The scene ends, and we welcome a new addition to the stable of scrawny young men with mammoth tools.
Cue the obligatory Â“cute-tie-upÂ” line as the guys tease Angel about being such a skank (my word - they use Â“constantly hornyÂ”), to which Angel replies, Â“Well, I started young and IÂ’m not stopping now.Â” They all laugh and the film fades out. Oh well, off to Vietnam I guess.
An amazing movie featuring some very assured, promising debut performances. And I love Hunter, who looks like the result of a scientific experiment combining the cells of Matt Summers and Chad Hunt. What a star! I bet Chi Chi couldnÂ’t wait to get her claws into him. Well, IÂ’ll get him in the end, you just wait and see!
And to any other unfeasibly well endowed young men out there who want to become a Rascals star: Remember, all you have to do is look in a mirror and say "Chi Chi LaRue" five times. SheÂ’ll do the rest.
-- Froufrou A. Gogo
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