♺ Big Blue - Lords Of The Ring (avi)

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DescriptionOriginal upload: 2010-05-28 |
Wow. To be a professional boxer. The more people I could fit in my ring, the happier I’d be. So roll up, roll up, step right this way and test your strength of will as you witness Blue Blake’s latest sexscapade, a protein shake splattered (I think it’s protein shake) creatine-fuelled all-out muscle-fuck extravaganza, the likes of which I’ll wager you have never seen before. Let’s just say that the words “barrel-chested” were created for these freakishly huge guys who you’ll see get hot, naked and sweaty in over one hundred minutes of sheer gargantuan man-on-gargantuan-man action.

Fellow Dirty Limey Blue Blake has once again topped his previous excellent output. In my review of Duke Miller's Lumberjack Gang Bang I wondered where he could go from there, and he’s answered me – back to the ring! If you’ve never seen a Blue Blake blue movie before, welcome - you’ve got a reservation at the Presidential Suite of Porno. If you are already a fan (and who could not be?) you’ll be happy to see he’s brought some of his favorite performers with him.

Enjoy the opening credits (complete with bizarre music) as we open on Blake playing interviewer, listening to the story of a mysterious ex-professional-boxer and why he quit the business.

We dissolve to an actual, factual boxing gym (no crappy sets here, thanks) closed for the night. Thinking he’s alone Madison practices inside. Suddenly a mysterious masked musclegod appears and makes this “bitch” worship his entire body, starting him off on his ham-hock-sized calves. The mystery man lets rip with offensive vocals that both Madison and you will find irresistible. Eventually the assailant is revealed to be Dulce, who facefucks Madison before ordering him to eat out his dark, sweaty, muscleman ass. Madison’s own hole proves too tempting, so Dulce penetrates the tight cheeks, perfectly framed by the straps of his white jock. Their dirty carnival-strongman scene ends with Madison getting a faceful of his master's jizz.

Next on show there’s Tom Katt (who looks so good I’ll forgive the shaving of his body hair just this once) and hunky lover Slade whose bedroom-located sex-sequence is a romantic juxtaposition against the previous carnality. Slade is an ex-Air Force pilot and Katt an award winning professional body-builder; I doubt you’d have seen such a combination fifteen years ago. (Way to suck dick, Top Gun! Shame they don’t give out medals for that!) The scene is both powerfully erotic yet slow-moving, only really going into overdrive when Katt pummels Slade, as what must be six-hundred pounds of solid muscle ass-fuck each other to thunderous honorable discharge.

There’s mystery afoot when Slade gets a call and discovers that Madison has been injured (and sodomized). Yet all Katt can think about is that now Slade has one less competitor to worry about, to which Slade reacts angrily, accusing Katt of taking too many steroids. (Ouch! Glad he said that and not me. That way I can repeat it and not get sued!)

Next up we get a solo from “The Next Arnold” (from Diff’rent Strokes?) as Lord, another professional bodybuilder, performs for the first time on video. Anyone who remembers Scott Gunz in Hard as Rock will know how well director Blake can get his actors to perform. Fans will be slightly disappointed that this Marvel action hero come to life isn’t as inventive with the verbal (“lick that bi-zep”) but does a great show-piece as he caresses his muscular torso - and the new Hulk is computer generated? His fingers playing gently with his arms (which are bigger than my waistline). “Want to feel this with your hand?” he asks us. “Oh God, yes!” we drool as he licks himself, and gets hot fingering his hole whilst retaining a wide-eyed innocence that’s totally appealing. He’s a noisy cummer too, as his big meat spits out a load of protein that he then licks from his fingers. Wowsers!

Back in the ring closeted Matthews gets to grips with pony-tailed, pierced-eared Steele, who slips his hand into Matthews’ jock, freeing his big meat. I’m guessing the hair and earrings wouldn’t be much good in a boxing match, so luckily his sexual performance is so great. He forces Matthews to deep-throat his meat before spitting and slobbering all over his partner’s equipment, finally flipping him over and tongue-and-finger-fucking Matthews’ hot brown-eye. The spit and sweat keeps a-coming as Matthews takes a turn cleaning out Steele’s sweaty hole, until deciding what he really wants is to have the tattooed giant penetrate him on the canvas ring. Steele willingly obliges, his trimmed pubes slapping against Matthew’s tight, taut cheeks. It’s little wonder both studs can’t hold it in, spraying Matthews’ sexy six-pack with both their lust-ointments.

Slade is pissed because now two of his friends (and competitors) have just been raped. (Ok, well, it’s not really a Jodie Foster in The Accused style violation if they say yes.) All Katt can still think about is that it’s another of Slade’s rivals out of the way. “You had something to do with this, didn’t you?” charges Slade to Katt, who wanders off, no doubt fucked-off by his partner’s 'roid rage. Katt’s just an optimist, leave him alone!

Katt drives home and picks up hitchhiking He-Man Gianelli en route. In his debut, the 250 lb. Gianelli (real-life partner of Matthew Rush) shows us what he’s got when the twosome get naked back at Katt’s apartment, proving once and for all that the “bodybuilders have teeny peenys” notion is utter nonsense! As the two suck each other Katt reveals how badly he wants to be fucked. “I’ve been thinking about that all the time in the car,” replies Gianelli, to which Katt tells the lucky musclestud to “Get ready.” Sadly Gianelli doesn’t rub his hands together squealing “Oh boy, this is gonna be great!” like the fat guy in Animal House, but you sure will. Katt’s catflap gets well and truly wet with Gianelli’s appreciative licks before he rubbers up and impales Katt with his almighty pork-sword. The groans, grunts and dialogue are just as hot as the action itself. You’ll love every second of this sizzling scene, climaxing as the two sweat-sodden sodomites spray their spunk all over.

What happens in the closing scene is a total surprise. I really shouldn’t spoil the twist - which I’ll admit I didn’t see coming - but still, Slade and Dulce’s fuck is heat made flesh, a sizzling denouement that oozes raw aggressive muscle sexuality. Dulce’s gift of a facial cumshot on Slade is the perfect icing.

Blake’s character (remember him?) sums up the whole story for those daft enough to have not worked the entire thing out, and we finally get a full-on faux-Raging Bull boxing bout that had me watching between my fingers.
Added2016-09-24 16:21:08
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